The Virtual Woman: A Woman's
Weekly Guide To Cyberspace
Finding Love In Dot Comville
Valentine's Day is almost here folks. And while the heart of the Internet might be pumping up a storm, it sounds like more than a few of you need some ideas to get your own tickers beating a bit faster. New ideas as in dating ideas. Many people are genuinely discouraged about finding Ms.or Mr. Right through traditional (yawn) dating methods and are now beginning to explore the virtual (yes!!!) route. So as a favor to all of my readers and without any interest in the topic myself (heck, I'd much rather evaluate random number generators), I will take you on a virtual tour of the many a splendored romance sites my world has to offer. Ahhhh, vive le cyberamour!For starters, http://www.relationships.com is a great general-purpose site. You can search by region, interest, and type of relationship (friendship, serious, casual dating, long-term, non-traditional, or professional). You can also set up an anonymous screen name and multiple special profiles that you can change anytime. Like many other sites, they offer a free trial period, and then a membership fee of $19 a month.
Third Age calls itself "the Web for grown-ups" (Translation: It's a site for anyone over the age of 40). Its " romance channel" http://www.thirdage.com/romance/ is a cross between Cosmopolitan and GQ magazines, with articles like "When is your Sexual Prime," "How to Undress a Woman the First Time," and "Bringing out the Mae West in Every Woman." It also offers hosted forums on various love topics. The best part about it, my lovesick friends, is its dating "channel" (http://www.thirdage.com/romance/dating.html) and its "Friends and Lovers" matching "game" (http://www.thirdage.com/romance/fnl/start2.html). Through a "sophisticated pairing technology," your personal profiles (of your traits and your desired traits in a mate) will be matched with other profiles and then you'll be sent matches which you can follow up by email. Or, as they put it, the technology "pairs you with fishes that want a fish like you." Not sure about y’all but there’s nothing like a fine pair of gills to light a romantic fire in my belly.
For those of you who like to follow the stars, I recommend Starmatch (http://www.starmatch.com ). This site matches people by their astrological signs and personal traits. It offers monthly horoscopes, and a members' chat room. You describe the qualities you'd like in a person by pull-down menu, then fill out an extensive form about yourself, and indicate how you'd like to be contacted by Starmatch (by phone or email). Then you'll get a report about yourself and your compatibility rating based on astrological charting in the categories of love, friendship, business, and "self-harmony." You can also run these charts for a potential or current mate to see if you're compatible astrologically, and you can browse other compatible profiles. It is free to join Starmatch's standard program. There was some truth in my report, so give it a whirl!
Then there's Match.com (http://www.match.com) the grand daddy of the online dating service industry. Match.com claims more than one million singles have used their service worldwide. You create a profile and then their "superior matching technology" (is this starting to sound familiar?) gives you recommended matches based on your dating criteria. You can indicate if you're looking for an "activity partner," a date, or a lifelong companion. Match.com also offers relationship advice from a dating columnist, a monthly magazine, and chat rooms. Only members can browse profiles, place an ad, and respond to ads. Most members seem to be professionals and well-educated, from what I've been able to tell. Match.com has a free seven day trial period and then it's $12.95/month to join.
Other sites are like online versions of personal ads, such as http://one-and-only.com/menu1.htm. The benefit of a site like this is that it's quick and easy. You just check off boxes for your desired mate's geographic area, height, heritage, age, lifestyle (smoker or not), and you'll immediately get listings of corresponding personal ads (some with photos). You can then respond to their mailbox numbers, just like the newspaper personals. The downside is that since the criteria is very general, you'll have to sift through a large number of ads (thankfully, many of the ad teasers are pretty lame!). For no charge you can browse the profiles on the site or place an ad, but to answer an ad you need to sign up as a member.
A similar site is http://www.webpersonals.com which is filled with personal ads, but it also includes special areas for gay men and lesbians, as well as sections for dating, romance, and intimate relationships. It also features instant messaging to chat "live," and you can run a search on the people currently online. The major weakness with this site is that the personal ads seem quite sketchy, since they just describe one's age, height, education and income. In fact, many ads look like the came from the same person, with different headers!
So how do you select the right site to find your mate? Well, you might give all those that offer a free period a shot, and then figure out the ratio of men to women, do a few searches about your community and locale, and see who keeps posting. You might also try to find out about the philosophy and mission of the site -- are they into providing a service or about making money? And be sure to find out if there's a way to contact management of the site in case a problem arises (you never know!).
If you'd like to know more about the "ins and outs" of cyberdating, then check out these websites: http://www.Joyofcybersex.com (based on The Joy of Cybersex book by Deb Levine) and http://www.heartsonline.com
Happy Surfing!
Find these links and more at WWWomen.Com (http://www.wwwomen.com) the web's largest search directory of topics for women online. Email the Virtual Woman with your Internet questions or send snailmail to: WWWomen.Com, Attn: Virtual Woman, 3701 Geary Blvd., #325, S.F., CA 94118. Copyright, 1998. WWWomen, Inc. All rights reserved.
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Contributing Editor: Gail Koffman
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